Still Here

I'm still here nonexistent friends. I don't like to blog when I'm not dieting. I feel like I'm failing and I don't want to put it into words. I've been dealt a little bit of a blow this weekend that is going to be a blessing in disguise eventually. Eventually.

My boyfriend (whom I have been with since I was practically born and who I live with) was let go from his job Friday. It was just a story of they got to pull the plug before he did. He had been planning for months to quit but he just thought he had more time.

Everyone has these types of blows. It happens to every family. We have been planning for years to move closer to his family and it is now becoming a reality. My reality is that in the next 6-8 months, I more than likely will be moving and changing jobs as well.

When I dreamed of our "new" life and our starting over, I imagine myself thin. He has a rather high profile job which will come out with time and I want to be his cute little sidekick. I want that for myself and I want that for him. I want a social, confident life.

I feel like now is FINALLY the time. This time it feels real. I have to. It feels a little scary because this time it is the most important to me that it has ever been.

It doesn't sound ideal to a lot of people but my plan right now is to eat frozen meals at each meal. I know a lot of people just grumbled, moaned and judged but every person I read that has lost a good bit of weight has done so with portion control and calorie counting, not being perfect. Healthy eating will come. I don't have the mental strength right now.

My job has been the most stressful it has ever been. I feel inadequate and overwhelmed ALL OF THE TIME. I have learned that I usually fail (not to mention waste money) when I buy the protein and fresh veggies then don't have the time, mental capacity or energy to prepare that meal. I pick something up from the drive though and fail.

I envision this being a pseudo-Nutrisystem. My meals are prepared with a couple of fruit snacks built in. The price is comparable to what I normally spend on groceries.

I hope for support, strength and accountability from this blog. Best wishes to all.


I once saw someone who posted three good things each day. I think it is a good pattern to get into. There is always good and positive in every situation.

Three good things:
1. I get election day off. (6 work days until no school)
2. I'm going to NYC in 7 work days!!!!
3. I have a lovely, blessed life and I am truly loved.