Still Here

I'm still here nonexistent friends. I don't like to blog when I'm not dieting. I feel like I'm failing and I don't want to put it into words. I've been dealt a little bit of a blow this weekend that is going to be a blessing in disguise eventually. Eventually.

My boyfriend (whom I have been with since I was practically born and who I live with) was let go from his job Friday. It was just a story of they got to pull the plug before he did. He had been planning for months to quit but he just thought he had more time.

Everyone has these types of blows. It happens to every family. We have been planning for years to move closer to his family and it is now becoming a reality. My reality is that in the next 6-8 months, I more than likely will be moving and changing jobs as well.

When I dreamed of our "new" life and our starting over, I imagine myself thin. He has a rather high profile job which will come out with time and I want to be his cute little sidekick. I want that for myself and I want that for him. I want a social, confident life.

I feel like now is FINALLY the time. This time it feels real. I have to. It feels a little scary because this time it is the most important to me that it has ever been.

It doesn't sound ideal to a lot of people but my plan right now is to eat frozen meals at each meal. I know a lot of people just grumbled, moaned and judged but every person I read that has lost a good bit of weight has done so with portion control and calorie counting, not being perfect. Healthy eating will come. I don't have the mental strength right now.

My job has been the most stressful it has ever been. I feel inadequate and overwhelmed ALL OF THE TIME. I have learned that I usually fail (not to mention waste money) when I buy the protein and fresh veggies then don't have the time, mental capacity or energy to prepare that meal. I pick something up from the drive though and fail.

I envision this being a pseudo-Nutrisystem. My meals are prepared with a couple of fruit snacks built in. The price is comparable to what I normally spend on groceries.

I hope for support, strength and accountability from this blog. Best wishes to all.


I once saw someone who posted three good things each day. I think it is a good pattern to get into. There is always good and positive in every situation.

Three good things:
1. I get election day off. (6 work days until no school)
2. I'm going to NYC in 7 work days!!!!
3. I have a lovely, blessed life and I am truly loved.

Brita Kids

I have a confession. I really hate water. Truly. Hate. There is no way to doctor it. Add the little powders. Throw in a sprig of mint. I still hate water. I do try though. I want to love water. I want to be the person that carries the gallon jug around and the person who pees ALL DAY.

I hate chemically, minerally tasting tap water. When I DO drink water, I'm water-fancy and prefer Smart Water, 365, or Fiji. (I'm one of thoooossee people) Problem though: I'm a total cheap skate and HATE buying it. I would love to say it is because I'm green. It's not. As an alternative, I love my Brita water bottle.

I JUST DISCOVERED the kids water bottle and am in LOVE. SUPER CUTE. Yes, cute is an absolutely justifiable reason for me to use it.

I borrowed this picture from the Brita website because I thought you needed to see it!

 

Isn't it precious!! It has the little filter built inside! If I could only get a Louis Vuitton pouch to put it in, I would be set!

Better Than Justin Bieber

Ohmyword. Fit to the Finish commented on my blog. (giggle) I began this blog yesterday because I needed a fresh start for this journey. For the past four months, anytime I have gotten discouraged or needed motivation, I HELPLESSLY read Fit to the Finish. For hours upon hours I read about her emotional and relatable struggles with weight loss. She is the weight loss blogger that I feel "gets me" right now and she commented on MYYYY blog. Lil' ole' Does This Bib. It's a sign from up above. Or Diane is just a really nice person.

So, my latest discovery has been Ecletic Whatnot. She's fun. If you haven't gathered by now, I want to run and she has motivated me to use Couch to 5K again. I have tried it before and didn't have the stick with it but I'm ready with a renewed motivation! Going to go run!!

Your Blog Title Is Strange

I know. I think creating a blog title is so challenging. How can I possible encompass everything I'm going to say as well as set the tone with just a few words.

I obsessed for sometime about this blog title. I've been around the bloggy world for a little while now and just needed a fresh start. As I've mentioned in my previous post (did you read it?), I'm in the process of creating the amazing life I want for myself.

I actually have a lovely life. I'm 27 and live in Kentucky. I'm originally from Austin, Texas and although I don't miss it for ANYTHING, I'm proud obnoxious about it. I teach 5th and 6th grade reading and I have an amazing boyfriend.

With that being said though, I feel like I've been waiting to start life. I've been waiting to be thin again and then I can officially begin living. Make sense? Think I'm crazy? Possibly. When I envision what I want for myself, I want to be a runner (there will be so many obnoxious posts about this later. Sorry 'bout that.). I want to practice yoga regularly. It excites me to think about taking my future children camping and hiking! I'm figuring out that....I can do those things NOW and hopefully it will help LEAD to the healthy lifestyle I'm trying to create.

So. The blog title comes from my passion for being a runner. I LOOOVVEE race bibs. I want bibs. I want to be active in races and one day, those bibs will be on a thinner person!

I Quit The Gym

Do you remember the episode of Friends where Chandler wants to quit the gym? I had that moment today. If you don’t know this reference, we can not be friends. It was awesomely similar. Cute, fit blonde asking, “Is there any reason why?” I WANNA QUIT THE GYM. It was intimidating. The obese girl admitting failure.

I have been pro/conning this decision for a few months now and I feel like I do have valid reasons. I joined my gym April 2010. It is “the” gym to join. Movie theatre. Several classes. It. All. But not for me.

Reason #1: Since then, I have lost 25 pounds and gained 35.

Reason #2: Last November, I inquired about their personal training services and was treated terribly. Truly. I was astounded at the personal trainer's rudeness and lack of service. That post will come in time but let’s just say she couldn’t close the deal.

Reason #3: I HATE treadmills, ellipticals, stair climbers, weights, weight machines and everything else in the gym.

Reason #4 I love classes but do not enjoy their instructors. I have attended 25 different classes or so and most instructors have been rude or just incredibly unwelcoming. If I'm going to have a fitness instructor or trainer, I want that person to understand that each person is on their own journey.

I don't need you to hold my hand and be my cheerleader but I don't want you to smirk when I walk into your spinning class because the truth is, I'm a machine at spinning.

I'm sure that several of you may have the opinion that, I'm obese. I'm going to face these types of challenges and behaviors. The world can be judgemental and cruel. Possibly so but....do I want to pay for that kind of treatment?

With ALLLLLL that being said, if I hate all of those things, are they really going to aid me in losing weight? I truly just don’t enjoy those activities. I have been playing gym rat for 10 years. When I imagine my perfect adult life, it isn’t going to the gym. It is running, practicing yoga, hiking and living an active life.

So. Today, I quit the gym. Walked 1.25 miles (um. it was a rigorous terrain, ok?) and started a new blog!